Remembering To Live...

I started watching Scrubs for the first time the other day. I don’t usually watch medical shows like that, just on the basis that most portray doctors and nurses in a bad light. This one certainly does on occasion, but I stumbled upon one of the best episodes I’ve seen in a long time for a TV show. In the first season is an episode titled “My Old Lady.” If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend you jump on youtube, Netflix, or find somewhere to rent it. It follows the three main doctors as they make their own life discoveries on death in their own unique way. I won’t go through all three, but I do want to hit on J.D.’s experience.

                For those of you who aren’t familiar with the show, J.D. is the central character you follow in the series. He’s an intern at a teaching hospital and quickly finds that being a doctor is not what he thought it would be. In this specific episode, J.D. finds himself with a 74 year old woman whose family immediately starts to berate him for his age and seems to be very domineering in the woman’s care. The old lady tells him he needs to be assertive and tell them to leave, which he manages to and finds he really likes her company. He finds out that her kidneys are bad enough that to keep her alive, she’d have to go on dialysis. When he goes to tell her, he finds that she’s left a note informing him that she went to the park.

                Arriving at the park, J.D. is welcomed by a large party for the old lady’s 5 year old granddaughter. She convinces J.D. to let her stay until the candles are blown out. When they get back, J.D. informs her of her situation, at which point she tells him she doesn’t want dialysis. She’s simply just ready to die. He’s completely taken aback by her answer and insists there’s something he can do. He looks at it legally, ethically, and eventually finds himself in her room reading off a list of things he believes everyone should do before they die. Making it to the end of the list without a single thing left for this woman to do, he begins grasping for anything to make her change her mind. Then this transpires:

Woman: Listen, Dr Dorian, there is not one thing I regret as I lay here right now. I'm ready. I really am.

J.D.: You have had an amazing life. Good.

Woman: Now we agree. Aren't there other patients you need to be seeing?

J.D.: Me? No, I've been off for two hours.

Woman: So with your precious free time, you've been talking to an old lady. What about your list? How many have you done? For that matter, how many times have you sat on the grass and done nothing? You need to start taking some time for yourself. Promise me you'll do that.

J.D.: I will.

Woman: Good. Now, get outta here. Go on.

J.D.: I just wanna check out a few things before I get going.

Woman: Are you OK?

J.D.: I'm scared.

I believe that this is the heart of nursing right here. You hear so much about the nurses that take care of their patients, the ones that meet their every need. We counsel them, educate them, and even hold their hand when they’re scared, but it isn't always like that. As a nurse, I believe that as much as we will teach and comfort our patients, our patients can teach and comfort us. In that brief moment, J.D. let down his guard and admitted being scared of this woman’s death, and death in general. It’s not an easy concept for anyone to come to terms with for anyone. It’s one thing to read about it, but it’s a whole other ball game to come face to face with it, even in a woman who is fully ready to say goodbye.

                I personally have not faced death. I’ve lost relatives and friends, which has been hard to deal with, but I’ve never met it face to face. The best thing we can do is evaluate our own lives. We should consider ourselves lucky. It’s not every profession that gets a reminder to get out and live!

What are your thoughts on death? Have you faced it yet? What was your experience like and what knowledge did you gain from it?

~THE Future Nurse Chelsey